There is a statistic that shows that people who write down their goals are 80% more likely to reach them. Not a lot of people take this methodology to their love lives. Why not? One of the best things you could ever do in your life is creating a top 10 list, going through all your exes and scoring them out of 10. You will begin to see a pattern in where your ex-partners were letting you down. You’ll also see where they were meeting your wants and needs too. Finding the right person to be with isn’t like playing the online lottery. “Winning” isn’t just down to luck; you need to put some work in too.
If you’re ready to make your list, you need to take a few things into account to make it fair. Things might not have worked out with your exes, but there are some good lessons that you can learn both from what went wrong and what went right. Here are some tips for making your list and rating your exes against it.
Don’t Make Your List Too Shallow
When you’re making your list of top ten things that you want in a partner, you need to be fair and realistic. While you might have certain things that you want in terms of looks, it’s important not to be too shallow or focused on the physical. Make sure that you get a good balance between physical traits and emotional or personality traits. Maybe you want someone who is tall or physically fit, but you also have to have a partner who makes you laugh or is your intellectual equal. Think about what you really want in a partner, and who you think will make you happy. But be realistic when you make your list – you won’t get far if the attributes you write down are rich, famous and supermodel good looks.
Keep the List for Future Partners
Once you have ranked your exes against your list, it’s important not to get rid of it. The idea is that you can keep it and use it to assess any new or potential new partners in the future. But how many traits out of ten should you be able to tick off for your potential or current partners to measure up to what you want? Ideally, you should have at least eight out of ten things if you want to be sure you’re onto a good thing.
Expect Your List to Change
Remember that your list isn’t necessarily going to stay the same. As you grow and change, what you want in a partner can change too. You can even realize from seeing someone new that want you thought you wanted is maybe not what you want after all. So don’t be too quick to dismiss someone if they don’t match your list perfectly. Sometimes it’s the list that needs to change, and you’ll keep learning from your future relationships.
Use this top 10 list method to be more selective about your romantic partners. It could lead you to the right person.